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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Anxious about a Clean House

Question: If I'm not working, I'm cleaning my home but my home is always trashed with dirty floors, clutter and dirty launder. I'm too broke to get help! Please help I have No free time and I'm embrassed about my house! Tonight I think I saw a mouse!!! I want so bad to live cleaner! Its killing me!! Please help me about what to do! Thanks!

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Laura NP

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Michael Hastings, General McChrystal, and the Nobel Prize winning novel Lord of the Flies

Well, I finally read the WHOLE Michael Hastings article in Rolling Stone about General Stanley McChrystal. It was sooo long! It was a good article and it explained a lot about what's happening behind the scenes. To me, it read like a novel, like West Side Story, but most like William Golding's novel Lord of the Flies. Remember having to read that one in high school!?! It's a classic! Golding won a Nobel Prize and everything! I think Mr. Hastings is hoping for a prize for his article too. I don't know if I agree with the war or not. I don't like that we are dumping billions of dollars into Afghanistan to "win over the civilian population." We need that money for our own who are suffering with unemployment, homelessness, hunger. But I don't want any terrorists killing my family. I don't like hearing how many of our soldiers are dying or killing themselves during this war. And I sure don't like reading about the high school interpretation of our so-called leaders..."General Petraeus is kind of a dweeb, a teacher's pet with a Ranger's tab, McChrystal is a snake-eating rebel, a Jedi commander." So Lord of the Flies! At the end of Golding's novel, all the boys run onto the beach and stumble upon a Navy officer who is there to rescue them. All the boys start to cry..."Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of a true, wise friend called Piggy." The boys all realized that evil dwells within all human beings, even in the most civilized of nations...and so maybe Mr. Hastings, in his blind quest for a prize...had a touch of evil in his heart when he wrote such negative things about The General.
Laura NP

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Is Jan Brewer A Dixie Chicks Wannabe?

Don't get me wrong, I like Jan Brewer, and I agree with her law on immigration. But her most recent statement was a wee-bit controversial. She said, "Immigrants entering Arizona are being used to transport drugs." Maybe some of them fall prey to the drug cartels. Her statement reminded me of when the Dixie Chicks said they were "ashamed" that The President hailed from their home state of Texas. The Dixie chicks sure did take a lot of heat for that one! Death threats and everything! So now all the people who think they are important are calling for Jan to apologize. And they are calling her a racist! I don't think she should apologize! And here's why:

1. Joe Biden said Hilary Clinton was "a better pick than me," regarding being Vice President...but he's the Vice President right!?!

2. Sonia Sotomayor said, "A wise Latina women would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white man who hasn't lived that life." And she's still a Supreme Court Justice, bias and all!

3. Jesse Jackson said, "That's all Hymie wants to talk about, is Israel. Every time you go to Hymie town, that is all they want to talk about." He's still a Reverend and making lots of money for "speaking and supporting stuff (this job description is open to interpretation)."

4. Rush Limbaugh said, "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." Rush still makes gobs of money on his radio show and has a huge fan base, and I bet some of his fans may be ugly girls!

5. Tom Cruise said, "You can use vitamins to help a women through those things," referring to postpartum depression. And he's still a popular, million dollar movie star!

6. Barack Obama said, "America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition. Instead they overlap and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings." And he said, "I consider it part of my responsibility to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear." And...as remarkable as it is...he is The President Of The United States!

So Jan...say whatever you want sister! You will still be the Governor of Arizona!
Laura NP

Keeping Grandchildren in Your Life

Question: Our daughter lives with us with her 2 children,1 1/2 and a 1 month old. Her husband left after the youngest was born, now she won't stay home to take care of them and we are taking care of them. We love our grand kids to death, and have tried talking to her. I'm afraid if I try and do anything I'm afraid the kids will be taken away from us, and I couldn't stand that, anything I can do?

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Laura NP

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

In Love With A Prostitute

Question: I am involved sexually and emotionally with a woman that I found out was a prostitute. She says she stopped everything after she loved me, but I feel bad to be with a prostitute. Is she saying the truth? And, why can't I leave her?

Click on comments to see Laura's advice.
Laura NP

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Who Gets Helen Thomas' Seat -Top Five Nominees!

Well the top contenders for poor Helen's seat are Bloomberg News and Fox News. But I say maybe they should broaden the pool of candidates! Here are the top five people who should be considered for the coveted front row seat:

1. Joe Wilson (R-SC). Joe would be good because he can keep Gibbs in line by shouting out one-liners that may be true. It's always good to have someone who can cause a few looks of disdain and gasps of horror during a press conference. It adds a little drama...a little Jersey Shore flavor don't you think?

2. Glenn Beck. So Glenn would be good because he makes goofy faces and can make himself cry about politics. His big chalkboard might get in the way of the other reporters, but maybe he can get one of those little chalkboards that will fit on his lap.

3. Sarah Palin. Sarah the rogue reporter! All she ever talks about is "tapping our natural energy sources." No matter what question you ask her, that is her answer. She is consistent and reliable! Two very good qualities don't you think?

4. Angelina Jolie. She's a hot mom who thinks she can create world peace as an ambassador and by adopting kids from every country in the world. Sometimes it's all about what you think of yourself right? You don't have to go to Yale or Harvard to get appointed in the political arena. Sometimes pretty does matter.

5. Ronald Reagan's ghost. Yup. We need Ronnie to come back and kick some cowboy sense into the Obama administration! Ronald Reagan was the greatest president. His ghost needs to sit in that seat and remind everyone of his good work and all the success and good living it brought us! Remember "supply-side economics?" Remember that controlling the money supply decreases inflation... remember that we can spark economic growth by reducing government spending...remember that reduced government regulation of the economy worked well...remember tax cuts... and remember successful foreign affairs negotiations like the INF treaty. Obama is the polar opposite of these fruitful concepts from President Reagan.

Can some psychic or channeling-type person please step forward and initiate contact with the "place people go when they die," and get President Reagan on the ghost phone? Because we are in a crisis here, and now that Helen Thomas stuck her foot in her mouth, there's an empty seat where we can strategically place a voice of reason. Unfortunately, Obama does not appear at press conferences and he does not answer questions. Maybe President Reagan will have to haunt the White House for a little while and scare some sense into Obama. Given how things have been going so far...it's our only hope.
Laura NP

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Having the same symptoms as my Dad

Question: My dad has PTSD and I feel like I'm contracting his symptoms. I've gone to the doc with my mom and he was going to put me on something buy my mom said no she would take me to talk to someone but never did! I'm still having the same issues now about a year later!(these started prob when I was about 5 or 6 but got worse since my dad came back into my life in 2006). I don't know what I can do, because of my anxiety and depression that the doctor diagnosed me with is really bad!

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Laura NP

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Some ADHD Meds are Amphetamines

Question: I just recently started taking Vyvanse a medication for ADHD and had a false positive urine screen for meth (amphetamine) because of the Vyvanse. I don't use meth so why did this happen?

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Laura NP

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Is He My Soul Mate?

Question: I am in love with someone in prison. Do you believe this is real love? He ask me to married him. Do you believe this is my soul mate?

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Laura NP

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Adult Children Still At Home

Question: Hi, I can't believe I am seeking out advice and can't solve this on my own. Some may think it's not a big issue but really it is. I have been married to a wonderful man for 27 years, we have a 28 and 23 year old who we love very much and would do most anything for. I have always been the parent who wants structure in raising our kids and treating them both with the same rules, especially with education. That is what we both agreed upon when starting a family. Our 23 year old son has been able to do just about anything and his father see's NO wrong in him. He still lives home, doesn't work and uses us like puppets and his father just can not or Will Not see this. Any of the ground rules that was set for our daughter has been totally different for our son. From the age of prob. 14, really it prob. started way before that he has been able to pull the wool over his fathers eyes. His father is a military man for 30 years and is home off and on so Dad tries to be his friend and not his father which I have said to him time to time. Even when WE both set a guideline or rule/stipulation and he (son) breaks it he has always been able to get away with NO punishment. Sometimes rewarded in a sense. My son knows and has known that he can manipulate his Dad and loves it, it causes and has caused many problems in our marriage for quite sometime but some how we (I) overcome it cause I love my family and my husband so much. My Husband is a great man and my son is a great man too but I just am at wits end on how to deal with this anymore and am really at the point that I can't or won't. My husband allows our son to use our autos, even knowing he's NOT covered on Ins. and the latest rule was to call home if he's going to be real late or not be home, well of course he doesn't call home, Hubby is out of town, which is when the son pulls his shit! So after me explaining to Hubby that this is happening, he still two nights later allows the son to take the car and go with it! So why make a rule if their is NO consequences? This is exactly what has been happening all through his life and school, which was hell! This is my issue, I have told my husband that he needs help or therapy and that this has taken it's toll on our marriage as the only time we fight is about this same issue over and over. Hubby doesn't see it as an issue at all, he see's it as me making too much out of it and I should get over it! I am really ready to walk out the door which kills me because we have been through a lot together and have had many plans for the future and I do love him but that too is slowly going out the window as it's kinda hard to be romantic or see him as the man I married when he won't support me. Where do I go from here? Sorry to make this so long and dragged out. HELP!

Click on comments to see Laura's advice.
Laura NP

Friday, June 4, 2010

McDonald's Recalls Toxic Glasses and Disco is Dead

McDonald's is recalling 12 million drinking glasses. You know, the ones with Shrek characters on them. Who doesn't love Shrek! So there is some unacceptable level of cadmium in the paint. Right away, didn't you think...Oh must be from China! But guess what...made in the USA at ARC International in lovely New Jersey. They have a very chic website and they are French-owned. I tried to maneuver their website to figure out which plant made the Shrek glasses. They have plants in Mexico, France, USA, China...all over the place! But most reports say the glasses came from the New Jersey plant. It's kind of a shady story...I couldn't figure it out! Some "third-party independent lab" accredited by the Consumer Product Safety Commission discovered this cadmium issue. Ummm..but the glasses were already in compliance with state and fed regulatory rules. So who-what-where decided to do an "independent study?" Then there is something about an anonymous tip. Very suspect don't you think? So what the heck is going on? Maybe the Obama Food Czar is quietly undermining the fast food business to force us to get skinny! Or maybe Pixar is trying to put DreamWorks out of business. Think about it...DreamWorks makes the Shrek movies. Pixar makes the Walt Disney movies. David Geffen runs DreamWorks. Steve Jobs owns a boat load of Pixar stock. Geffen was the first record label to sign on Donna Summer in the disco era. Jobs is the apple God. The disco era was filled with hedonism and sexual promiscuity. The apple represents temptation and sin. So did Donna Summer bite a Big Mac...which is the modern day apple... and fall prey to the sin-filled disco era? Or did Adam and Eve really drink from a cadmium glass, get toxic, and make fig leaves for clothes?
Laura NP

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Top 3 Reasons You Know Your Blood is Overrun with Neanderthal DNA

Ever since the science peeps announced that some of us are directly related to Neanderthals, I thought it would be important to be able to identify those of us with the direct link. After some in-depth googling activities, here are the top three "Neanderthal DNA is in me" identifiers:

1. You love buffets and game dinners. Neanderthals are scavengers. Yup. Neanderthals sometimes ate any dead animal they happened to come across. Like a vulture. I always wondered why some people love buffets. I never got it...that sneeze guard is not low enough for the 7-10 year old crowd. In fact, those little kids touch the food and cough and sneeze right onto it! But some people still eat it! And those game dinners. Have you ever heard of those. Yeah, a bunch of hunters go out and kill all kinds of weird animals...bears, reindeer, wild boar, deer, and already dead dolphins (cause there is some rule about not killing a dolphin to eat it). Then some crazy chefs make delectable treats like ham of black bear, leg of mountain sheep, broiled rabbit, squirrel barbecue, and reindeer testicles! Remember that Fear Factor episode where they ate reindeer testicles? Yup...Neanderthals! If you don't have Neanderthal DNA, you can't try out for fear factor.

2. You use your teeth as tools. Opening cans, zipping up zippers, gnawing off your own leg that's stuck in a trap...that's some hearty Neanderthal DNA! Some people chew their nails. That doesn't count. Some people chew glass. That counts. Oh...and swallowing knives and eating fire...definitely Neanderthal DNA.

3. You vacation in caves. You belong to a grotto club, you spelunk, and you call yourself a "caver." You are dazzled by the underworld! You've been to mammoth caves, Lost River caves, Crystal Cave, Lockport caves, Missouri caves, Wild cave, Cave of the Winds, Ozark caves, and you like the website...caves.org. You spend your evenings in the "cavechat" online community. You wear one of those super-cool helmets with the light on top. You know the difference between stalagmites and stalactites (I needed to use spell check to spell those right!) You have a bumper sticker that says, "Caves are Cool."

So what do you think? Are you a direct descendant? See...all those years you thought you were...well...different. But now there is a scientific reason for your uniqueness, you are a Neanderthal spawn! Congratulations!
Laura NP