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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Who Gets Helen Thomas' Seat -Top Five Nominees!

Well the top contenders for poor Helen's seat are Bloomberg News and Fox News. But I say maybe they should broaden the pool of candidates! Here are the top five people who should be considered for the coveted front row seat:

1. Joe Wilson (R-SC). Joe would be good because he can keep Gibbs in line by shouting out one-liners that may be true. It's always good to have someone who can cause a few looks of disdain and gasps of horror during a press conference. It adds a little drama...a little Jersey Shore flavor don't you think?

2. Glenn Beck. So Glenn would be good because he makes goofy faces and can make himself cry about politics. His big chalkboard might get in the way of the other reporters, but maybe he can get one of those little chalkboards that will fit on his lap.

3. Sarah Palin. Sarah the rogue reporter! All she ever talks about is "tapping our natural energy sources." No matter what question you ask her, that is her answer. She is consistent and reliable! Two very good qualities don't you think?

4. Angelina Jolie. She's a hot mom who thinks she can create world peace as an ambassador and by adopting kids from every country in the world. Sometimes it's all about what you think of yourself right? You don't have to go to Yale or Harvard to get appointed in the political arena. Sometimes pretty does matter.

5. Ronald Reagan's ghost. Yup. We need Ronnie to come back and kick some cowboy sense into the Obama administration! Ronald Reagan was the greatest president. His ghost needs to sit in that seat and remind everyone of his good work and all the success and good living it brought us! Remember "supply-side economics?" Remember that controlling the money supply decreases inflation... remember that we can spark economic growth by reducing government spending...remember that reduced government regulation of the economy worked well...remember tax cuts... and remember successful foreign affairs negotiations like the INF treaty. Obama is the polar opposite of these fruitful concepts from President Reagan.

Can some psychic or channeling-type person please step forward and initiate contact with the "place people go when they die," and get President Reagan on the ghost phone? Because we are in a crisis here, and now that Helen Thomas stuck her foot in her mouth, there's an empty seat where we can strategically place a voice of reason. Unfortunately, Obama does not appear at press conferences and he does not answer questions. Maybe President Reagan will have to haunt the White House for a little while and scare some sense into Obama. Given how things have been going so far...it's our only hope.
Laura NP