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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Keeping Grandchildren in Your Life

Question: Our daughter lives with us with her 2 children,1 1/2 and a 1 month old. Her husband left after the youngest was born, now she won't stay home to take care of them and we are taking care of them. We love our grand kids to death, and have tried talking to her. I'm afraid if I try and do anything I'm afraid the kids will be taken away from us, and I couldn't stand that, anything I can do?

Click on comments to see Laura's advice.
Laura NP


Eleventh Hour LLC said...

Dear Steve,
It sounds like you love your daughter and grandchildren very much. It also sounds like you may feel that your daughter is taking advantage of your babysitting services! Maybe you can suggest a schedule that allows your daughter her time out with her friends but also will hold her accountable for taking care of her children. Maybe you can say something like, "We love having the grand kids around, and we love you, but it feels overwhelming taking care of the kids so many nights during the week. Can we agree that for two nights a week we will babysit? And the rest of the evenings we expect you to be home taking care of the kids." Maybe suggesting this type of middle ground will ease both of you into a new schedule. If she can't agree to that, it may be that you will have to set firmer boundaries. If she chooses to move out and not let you see the grand kids, then you may be able to go to court and win visitation. There have been many recent cases where grandparents have been granted visitation. Good luck and let us know how things go.