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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Reading Wikileaks is like Reading Your Sister's Diary

Wikileaks is the National Enquirer Magazine of the Internet.  That's all it is. A rag, a tabloid, a gossip fest online. I thought we had enough gossip with tmz.com.

I love freedom of speech, don't get me wrong here. And, I love that wikileaks is allowed to exist....cause I love freedom and I love America. But that also means I get to tell you that wikileaks is dumb and unnecessary reading material. Yup, that's right, just don't read it! Do you really need to know what Hilary Clinton personally thinks about some foreign leader?

I haven't read wikileaks. I haven't read it because it would be like reading my sister's diary...I do NOT want to know what she does with her boyfriend ok!? And, I do NOT want to know what she really thinks of me...cause it might make me sad!

I read a good article in the December 13th edition of The New Yorker. Lizzie Widdicombe wrote an article about wikileaks and the concept of "frenemies." She wrote about diplomacy and the importance of talking behind people's backs. Because that "off-the-record" conversation you have with Josie at the water cooler about your boss gives you personal insight into how to better deal with and communicate with your boss or your frenemy.

Bottom line...life is sometimes about getting your needs met, or getting America's needs met. And if Hilary Clinton needs to have off-the-record-back-room-talks about foreign leaders...then she should! And I don't need to know about it! Because those inside scoops help with her with decision-making.

Still don't get it??? Here is an example:

You go to lunch with Bob the mail-room guy. He happens to be the boss' nephew! Bob tells you the boss likes to have monthly reports written in a narrative summary instead of a list of stats. So what are you going to do with this info? Post it on facebook? NO silly, you are going to make your next monthly report into an awesome narrative summary and look like a star compared to your office mates!

Don't read wikileaks. We have lost the importance of secrets. Having secrets is often necessary. I kind of blame Obama...you knew this was coming right!  I blame him because he brought up the dumb concept of transparency! He preached that everyone should know everything! He's kicking himself in the ass for that right now. Mr. President...be careful what you wish for.

Dizzy From Seroquel

Question: I just started taking seroquel and now I get dizzy. Is it the medicine or is something else wrong with me?

Click on comments to read Laura's advice.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Michelle Obama vs. The Fat Kid

I feel it is my duty to provide Michelle Obama with a reality check. So here we go...Mrs. Obama, you can thank me later! So she said...just yesterday..."Childhood obesity isn't just a public health threat, it's not just an economic threat, it's a national security threat as well." Now don't get me wrong, parts of the bill that just passed are great, like not letting kids go hungry. BUT...The emphasis on the statistics regarding how many children live in poverty and go to sleep hungry each night was sorely missing from this legislation.

For example, In 2009, 50.2 million Americans lived in food insecure households, 33 million adults and 17.2 million children. But Ms. Obama didn't talk about this, she was too focused on all those fat kids who seem to be eating quite well and who aren't hungry...ever!

Michelle, did you know Arkansas has 17.7% of families not getting enough food?

I think she is completely misguided by her socialist husband's need to control all we do...and her focus ended up not being about hunger but rather about forcing YOU not to eat devil dogs anymore!

kid + twinkie = security breech
kid + chips = heightened terror alert to red
kid + snickers= name on the no-fly list

Yeah, ok Mrs. O, so I'm guessing this applies to your fancy White House Christmas dinner too, right?  So Mrs. Obama... you are not allowed to eat any cream-based soups, no dinner rolls with pointless calories, no butter on the table, no candied yams dripping in maple syrup, no gravy, no mashed potatoes, no cheesecake, no pie, no ham, and definitely no ketchup....which has 233 calories per serving by the way!!

I declare, by the socialist powers that be, that you may only eat a garden salad with lemon spritzed on top for your Christmas dinner. Got it?!?