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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Life Of Julia! ...Now At A Theater Near You

Have you read the reviews? The sci-fi summer blockbuster hit Life of Julia has just been released by the acclaimed director Barack Obama!

The heroine, Julia, is a cartoon girl whose life we follow through a maze of government programs that she simply can't live without!  It's setting is the beautiful shorelines of Greece and it takes a little suspension of disbelief to remember that its an American story.  But hey, that's why we love sci-fi movies!

The movie starts off with an urgency as the heroine suddenly needs the Head Start Program to help her blossom in elementary school. But within minutes, the villains swoop in and spew statistic after statistic that proves the program is useless.  Spoiler alert!!   ...Julia slays the villains with her cross and bow and moves on through school to eventually get into college. Wow! It's a thriller too!

In college, our heroine easily glides through life without worries because her parents are paying her health insurance until she is 27! She can drink and smoke and use birth control all without worrying about the health consequences because she is covered!

The movie starts dragging a bit in the middle as Julia has a baby out of wedlock.  She refuses to divulge the baby daddy and the theme of men getting away without having to be accountable causes the patriarchal government to rescue our poor Julia and give her food stamps and baby formula so she stays quiet and oppressed. Our Julia becomes content and doesn't join the women's movement. She eventually files for bankruptcy because her student loans doubled their interest rate in a sudden plot twist!

She tries to start her own web business but becomes so bogged down in government regulations and taxes that even her trusted bow and arrow fail to cut through the red tape.  A sad ending ...but a sequel is already in the air as her son heads off to elementary school and the infamous head start program.

Well the reviews are all in:

"This is a naive director with so little insight you wonder what comic books he's been reading." - New York Observer          Oops!...this review was about the movie Bullhead, but it works for this movie too!

"A perfectly enjoyable film, as long as you let go of a few glaringly obvious contradictions." -John Anderson, News Day    Oops!...this review was about the movie Legally Blonde, but it works for this movie too!

"This film can't figure out where to go with its concept and increasingly unravels as it marches along." -Kenneth Turan, LA Times   Oops!...this review was about the movie Legally Blonde, but it works for this movie too! 

Government "help" to business is just as disastrous as government persecution... the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off. Oops! ...this is a quote from Ayn Rand, but it works for this movie too!