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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Sometimes It Is Mom's Fault You're Screwed Up!

Question: Hello, i think i might have Dependent personality disorder but I'm not sure. i am 20 years old and I cannot do things such as make my own bed or pour a glass of water for myself. I depend on my mommy and grandma for everything. its not like i don't know how but something is keeping me from doing those things. in my mind i am not lazy. My mind tells me that if i am lying in bed and have to pee and if i don't get up then that's being lazy. My fiance calls me a big baby. My mommy still wakes me up in the morning and has my cereal already made and everything. If there is no cereal i would not even eat. I am very sensitive. Almost anything will make me sad and cry. I know that if i was alone, i will NOT be able to survive on my own. I get scared just thinking about it. If i am in a place with unfamiliar people, i feel as if someone needs to take care of me to make sure that i am safe and alright. i don't know what is wrong please  help.

Answer: Well, I'm assuming you finished school and took all your tests yourself.  I'm assuming you have an intimate relationship with your fiance and your mom is not there helping you kiss you fiance. So you are making choices about what you want your mom to help you with. In other words, you are in control of all of your behavior and you do it all purposefully.  I'm not so sure you have a personality disorder. Dependent Personality disorder is a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to clinging behaviors and fear of separation. That could be you...OR...maybe your mom has done you a great disservice by feeding into your every need. You say you would not survive on your own...but we don't know that for sure because you haven't tried to live alone. Is your fiance going to bring you cereal when you get married? How are you able to successfully have a relationship with a man yet not be able to get a bowl of cereal for yourself?  You see...these two things just don't go together in any sensible way.  Your mom needs to stop doing everything for you and then see what happens. I'm pretty sure when you get good and hungry...your survival instincts will kick in and you'll get some cereal!