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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Should I Stay In My Marriage?

Question: My husband and I have been married almost 4 years and we both hold a lot of resentment towards each other. Our children were removed from us because I had been drinking heavily after my husband was incarcerated for assaulting me and our home was not safe for our kids. 2 years later we are still together trying to make it work. I was diagnosed as having borderline personality and he was diagnosed with paranoid personality. Clearly you should see just by that how hard it is to be married. I guess my question is how can I cope with how he is? He is so cold and untrusting. He has no attachments to anyone or anything and I can only communicate when he is in the mood to. Its very frustrating and depressing and I'm afraid for myself. For every good day we have I anticipate what's to come.

Answer: You say you are afraid for yourself.  I think it may be time to leave the marriage. Living with someone you are afraid of is not healthy and obviously not safe. I wonder why you stay. Is it for financial reasons? There are now many services for women who need help financially when they leave a relationship.  You can call your local shelters or community mental health clinics for help. At this point, it's hard to find a reason for you to stay.