We Should Pick Our Next President From Match.com!

Well the last few years speak for themselves. Our country is getting all out of sorts! It's time to break-up with Obama and pick a new partner!  I sent B.O. a break-up text, it's kind of a lame way to break-up, but I just couldn't take his begging to stay together speech anymore! I just couldn't figure him out...one day he liked me the next day he ignored me! Then he got too pushy...telling me what to eat and what to buy and how to act! Then...the deal-breaker for me...he actually had the nerve to ask me for money! I can't be in a relationship with someone like that! So I broke up with him and I just joined match.com! There are hundreds and hundreds of people we can pick from to be our next president!

Take a guy named "Mike" from North Dakota. He has pictures of himself standing in front of his car, in a business suit, and at the gym in a tank top! He likes dogs, he owns his home, he has a 401K, he has two children that he enjoys spending time with. He likes going to the movies, yoga, and Indian food! He sounds perfect right??? Or maybe "Crystal." She has 5 cats and lives in a condo on the beach! She has pictures of herself on the beach and of herself with all her cats. She drinks green tea and likes to jog at 5am every day! She sounds motivated right?

There are so many qualified people on match.com! We should definitely pick our next president off match.com! And...maybe we should pick our congress peeps off of there too!  Cause you know what...we would NOT have picked Senator Wu if he had a picture of himself in that tiger suit posted on his match.com profile!