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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Obama's Air Guitar Aspirations

So they just had the Air Guitar World Championships! It was held in Helsinki Finland. France's Sylvain Quimene, aka "Gunther Love" won for the second year in a row! The media article said Quimene "wowed the judges with his imaginary guitar renditions, performed wearing nothing but sunglasses and shiny, tight, gold-coloured trousers." Awesome! Check out his winning performance right here! What's that? You never heard of the famous Air Guitar World Championships? You don't know Sylvain Quimene? This has been a world event since 1996! What if a few of our favorite media-addicted friends entered the Air Guitar Championships? Then it might gain unprecedented popularity right? Let's see...how about Nancy Grace? I can see it now! She would lip sync Sade's song "Is It A Crime." Maybe Paris Hilton? She could sing Coolio's song, "Gangsta's Paradise"...it's about drug possession of course. How about Heidi Montag? Wait, since she made her breasts a size F or G or something like that, I don't think we would be able to see the air guitar...she would probably be disqualified! Oh I know...how about President Obama? He needs to find a new job soon anyway! According to Judicial Watch, President Obama has made their top ten most corrupt politicians for 2009! According to Judicial Watch, he made the top ten because, "Obama believes his administration can violate the privacy rights of American citizens without any legal consequences or accountability. He claims the Privacy Act does not apply to the White House." Yes! Obama would make a great air guitar player! What with his vacation-loving-lied-about-transparency-never-addressing-the-nation-turn-Americans-into-drones-drink-the-kool-aide-socialist-loving-never-without-a-teleprompter-philosophy, we would all be his groupies in no time! He would be in his element...getting people to believe he is playing a real guitar...but some of us know...it's a guitar that isn't really there.
Laura NP