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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Substance Abuse throughout a Marriage

Question: I have been married to my husband for 15 years. He has used crack off and on for the 15 years, financially I have done everything, we recently separated and he started seeing someone else who smoked crack also and now he says he loves her. I don't really want him, but I can't get over this feeling of feeling rejected and hurt. It is not as though he did anything for me, but why do I feel so hurt. I am 61 years old and don't want to live like this the rest of my life.

Click on comments to read Laura's advice.
Laura NP


Eleventh Hour LLC said...

Dear Pamela,
I'm sorry that you feel hurt and rejected by your husband. You supported him for 15 years and he took advantage of you. In essence, he chose crack/cocaine over you. He loves cocaine, not that other woman. Perhaps she is offering him even more crack than he had while married to you. I know this sounds harsh, but when people get involved with a person who is actively abusing substances, they need to know that the substance and obtaining the substance comes first. Your husband used you financially for 15 years to obtain his true love...cocaine. And now he is using someone else. But now, you are free! It is time to celebrate your freedom! Embrace your life and your financial freedom from his addiction! Now you can spend your money on yourself. Maybe take a singles cruise, or reconnect with an old friend. Join a club or group that seems interesting to you. Don't regret the past, nothing you say or do or feel will change what has already happened. Move forward and enjoy! Good luck and let us know how things go for you.