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Friday, July 30, 2010

Charles Rangel - Top 3 PR Moves He Should Consider

So Charles Rangel is in a heap of trouble! He of course swears he is an All-American-upstanding-citizen. Apparently, after a 2 year investigation, there was some stinky stuff going on...questionable fund raising activities, improperly obtaining four luxury apartments in New York, some financial no-nos related to a villa in the Dominican Republic, failing to reveal six-figure assets on his disclosure forms...and who knows what else! Good ole Charlie is probably vetting top-notch PR firms to manage his image right about now. But wait! He doesn't need to waste his money! Cause right here are the top 3 worst best case scenarios to get him off the hook.

1. Now's the perfect time to leak that sex tape he's been hiding! Doesn't everyone have a sex tape to release to get attention and/or to deflect other issues? Who doesn't get totally side-tracked by sex? It would definitely need to be super-scandalous...and at least as icky as Woody Allen hooking up with his daughter! Or maybe like David Letterman...having sex with his staff and then getting blackmailed about it!

2. Fake a serious illness. He is 80 after all. It would be believable. That teacher in Pennsylvania faked a brain tumor for nine years! She got lots of money donations and a trip to Disney World. If people believed a nine year old brain tumor...well they'll believe just about anything! I think either Lyme Disease or West Nile. This way he can feign flare-ups and get even more sympathy. He should stay away from the brain tumor...it's too fresh of a news story!

3. Change parties! Charlie should announce that he is now a Republican! He can be a frequent guest on the Sean Hannity show on Fox! He can talk about owning a gun, loving the Constitution, and how much capitalism rocks! He may even get to throw that dumb football around the studio with Sean.

So there is hope for Mr. Rangel! I think he should start walking with a cane too. And start looking like a frail older man...let his hair go grey...maybe even wear his pajamas to court...
Laura NP