Ode to the Wooly Mammoth

People are stressed out about everything these days. I’ve had numerous requests to help people with their stress levels. Money, jobs, health care, and of course…your carbon footprint! The social pressures to “be green” are just plain dumb. Yes I said it…dumb. If I have to hear anymore from Al Gore about the demise of earth, and the notion that it’s my entire fault…well, I’m going to puke. Stop stressing us out Mr. Gore! I don’t know my carbon footprint, I drink bottled water, and I drive a gas guzzler…so there! That makes me an outcast! I feel the disapproving stares of my neighbors as I drive away in my 5.7liter hemi. I might as well wear a fur coat to a PETA rally! So what’s a girl to do? I know…remember the Wooly Mammoth. Think back to elementary school when you learned about the ice age and those fabulous creatures known as the Wooly Mammoths. They even have a cool name! Hmmm…the ice age, remember that? There is tons of research over decades that can explain why the ice age ended. Was it global warming? I’ll summarize the well-studied and replicated data for you; scientists were able to determine the end of the ice age some 19,000 years ago, and said that the melting began in the higher latitudes and worked its way down to the tropics. Yes, elevated carbon dioxide levels were involved…just like the global warming theory of present day. But here’s the more important fact…the principal driver of climate change is the sun. True! Gee…it even kind of makes sense. We learned about the sun and its powers in elementary school too. So the scientists said that the end of the ice age happened because there were temperature increases brought about by the orbit of the earth around the sun, which then warmed up the deep ocean, and that in turn released carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, and the carbon dioxide simply enhanced the temperature increase that the sun had already initiated. Really simple right? Is anyone getting it yet? Could it be that the climate change, if it is happening now, is related to the earth’s orbit and the sun and not my 5.7liter hemi? Back to the Wooly Mammoth…it is extinct because of two things, climate change and a change in human hunting patterns. And today there are many animals that are also on the brink of extinction…due to climate change and human patterns. My point, it is inevitable that species will become extinct and it is inevitable that the climate will change. But it’s evolution; it’s not a man-made-guilt-ridden-hysterical-state-of-fear-alarmist-buy-a-hybrid-stop-drinking-bottled-water-know-your-carbon-footprint-or-the-world-is-going-to-end-phenomenon! Hear this, the global warming theory is just that…a theory. And a theory is simply an abstract thought, speculation, a hypothesis, an unproved assumption. There are currently over 18000 scientists who signed The Oregon Petition. It is a petition stating that there is no evidence that global warming is a man-made occurrence. And to President Obama, please don’t make America a part of the Kyoto Agreement. The Kyoto protocol was signed by 141 nations and it entails the “stabilization of greenhouse gases.” The financial burden of instituting the changes would be devastating to the United States. Remember…the sun and the orbit is tried and true science. Don’t buy into the global warming thing. Don’t start making major life changes because of Al Gore and his social pressures. Sit back and really analyze it, take a good look at your elementary school science book about the ice age and about the sun and the earth’s orbit. And I’m going to drive my gas guzzling 5.7liter hemi into the sunset.